Popipo Motherfucker
by Pathetic4HeadedMassOfTentacles
Summary: Miku tries to see Spike some vegetable juice, but unsuprisingly, Spike refusies, but will Miku take this refusal lightly, or end up doing something more drastic? What do you think will happen? Miku will let this slide?


AN: This will be the beginning of an onslaught of weird ass Miku x Spike fanfics, just so you know; I didn't feel like using yen.

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"Come on, it's good." Miku said, shoving the bottle of tomato juice to close to Spike's face, he backed away a bit, his face in an expression of disgust, he stumbled a bit on the sidewalk, he could feel a few people stair at the teal haired girl in a strapless dress that can somehow stay on her rather flat chest with a huge pink ribbon on her dress, needless to say, it was awkward for Spike.

"What part of 'no' and 'I'm broke' don't you understand?"

"Come on, it just costs 200 woolongs!" She said happily, "Of course, there are other flavors." She said.

"Like?" Spike said, sounding as if she was somewhat interested, at least that's how Miku took at as Spike really could care less.

"We have cucumber and celery juice." She said, grabbing a bottle from the little train wagon that was being steered by a little angry looking chibi version of herself of green juice that resembled vomit to Spike. He made a sound of disgust, Miku frowned.

"Aw, but it's the best one." She said sadly.

"No, you said the pale blue juice was the best one, but I don't know of any blue vegetables."

"Well, you could Google it." She smiled again, Spike scoffed.  
"I thought Google was dead after the gate accident." He said.  
"You obviously don't use the internet." Miku smirked, crossing her arms "Either that, or you don't pay attention."

"Whatever." Spike turned, walking away from the crazy girl, Miku gasped, waving her hand in the air as Spike walked away.

"Hey, why won't you buy my juice?"

"Because I need my damn bacon." Spike responded, "Oh yeah, 200 woolongs is like 2000 to me, and I'm not wasting it on shit that tastes like cold tomato soup." He said before leaving Miku's sight completely, Miku whimpered and yelled, "You don't have to be such a fucking asshole about it either!" She waved her fist in the air, "Come on, Hachune." She motioned her little chibi to fallow.

Back at the Bebop, Spike was talking about his encounter with Miku.  
"Why didn't you buy any?" Jet asked, he wasn't really getting Spike on this one; then again, he never really got Spike on anything he did.

"Because I tried it once and it tasted like crap." Spike threw his head back on the couch and crossed his legs on the table, "She had some different ones, but they didn't look good either."

"Well, it couldn't hurt to try them?" Jet asked, "After all, 200 woolongs isn't a lot. And you didn't have to be so mean to her either, after all, you can't tell a woman by looking at her." Jet stared at Faye who was napping on the other couch. "Who knows, this girl might find you and kick your ass."

Spike laughed, "Can't really imagine a vegetarian teenager wearing a dress like that beating me up, actually, it's pretty funny."

"You can be such an asshole, Spike." Jet said before heading off to his bonsai room, "Who knows, maybe that stuff might have tasted good, after all, we have no damn food."

Miku was back at her room, counting the money she made today, she did pretty well today, but she couldn't get her little encounter with the skinny green haired man out of her head.

"Well, I managed to make good money today, that prick was just a bump in the road." She laughed, a fake smile on her face as she stored the rest of her money within a safe next to Luka's rotting corpse and her head she Miku used as a jack o lantern and shut the safe, Miku sat on her bed, placing Len in her lap and began to pinch and poke at Len's cheek. "Really, do I need to be so pent up over one asshole who could spend just two hundred woolongs, it's not like I'm asking hi to buy it all, people can be jerks sometimes. Right Len?" She pinched his cheek, he didn't respond.

"Damn, still, it's people like him that make me mad." Miku pouted, "I wish I could kick his ass."

And out of nowhere, a giant bang and an explosion of light and sparkles exploded in front of Miku, Len fell out of her lap and scurried under the bed when Miku flung herself back to protect herself. The light cleared up, and in front of her was a black haired girl with her hair tied in a bun, with inch thick glasses on her nose, wearing all green with a white apron like thing around her waist covered with grass stains.

"Hello!" She said, waving happily at Miku, Miku scratched her head as she sat up in her bed, looking at the girl, she waved back.  
"Hi?"

The girl pouted, "Well, what's wrong, I here you were selling vegetable juice." She laughed, and then looked over, seeing the wagon full of the juice, she smiled, hiding Miku two hundred woolongs and dashed to the wagon, grabbing her self a bottle. "Speaking of which, you seemed sad, what's wrong?"

"First of all, tell me your name." Miku said, the black haired girl looked at her, a little ring of red around her lips from the tomato juice.

"Well, it's nice you want to know, but I don't think I'll be around long enough that it will matter anyway, I was just a messenger." She said happily.

"A messenger?"

"Yes!" She exclaimed, "After all, we need this to work out with something, so tell me what's wrong."

"Well. There was this guy…"

"Say no more, I just came here for the juice." She yelled before vanishing.

"What the fuck?" Miku scratched her head again, Len crawled out under the bed, five seconds later, a second girl appeared standing on top of Len, squishing the poor little fucker with her shin breaking boots heavier than fuck. A brown haired girl with a board expression on her face and a baseball bat in hand.

"What up, the names May." She spat on her hand and held it out for Miku, Miku was about to shake it, a disgusted look on her face before May took her hand back and smiled.

"Nah, I'm just fucking with you." She laughed as she wiped her hand on her dress and slammed the baseball bat in her hand. "So who's the fuck who pissed you off?"

The next day, Spike was walking down the street, somewhat near the one he encountered Miku on, it was getting dark and after a night of drinking, he's somewhat unaware of his surrounding, so he wasn't reacting quick enough when he felt him getting pulled into a bear by always.

"Hey, what the hell!?" Spike shouted, he tried to stay up, trying to fight the people, but he was to late.

THWACK!

Spike grunted in pain when he felt a blunt object connect with his back hard enough to send him to the ground. He groaned, his back now soar, he couldn't get up. He heard a metallic bat against someone's hands, this wasn't going to end well. His vision took awhile to focus before he saw his attackers, Miku and some brown haired girl.

"Well, this was easier than we thought, huh, Miku." May said, pounding the bat against her hand as she stared down at Spike.

"Yeah, laughably easy, you should be more carful when you say mean things to someone, Spike, after all, they can come back with her violent friend and beat your ass down." Miku said, kicking Spike in the gut with her high heel, a dirty move, even Miku knew that, but did she care? Fuck no.

May raised the bat and swung it down on Spike's leg, Spike scream in pain, feeling what he was sure his bone cracking, rending his leg useless, then his arm. May dropped the bat, kicking him in the face, shattering his nose upon impact, blood spewed from his nose and leaked from his mouth where he bit his tongue and lost a few teeth." Come on Miku!" May yelled as she repeatedly kicked Spike, Miku got in on this, kicking Spike again and again, and got down, and began to punch him.

"Kick him in the balls!" Miku yelled, May did as she was told, and began to to kick Spike in the crouch.

Spike yelled out, this was even worse than his broken nose and shattered teeth, not to mention his probably broken back and broken leg.

Spike couldn't believe this, he was actually having his ass kicked by her, and he felt himself slowly slip into unconsciousness, merciful unconsciousness. Miku kept punching him in the chest, she grabbed the baseball bat by the handle and began to jab it into Spike's chest.

May took note that Spike was unconscious, or probably dead and grabbed Miku's shoulder, "Hey, Miku, I think he might be dead." May said, pulling Miku back, who kept attacking Spike's unmoving body, "Miku? There's no point in kicking a dead horse, it's kind of like poking a dead body with a stick."

"Because it is." Miku said as she pulled away, looking at Spike's bloody body, "Wow, that was quick." She said, scratching her head, then she scoffed, going back to her wagon she brought with her a grabbed a bottle of cucumber and celery juice, went back to Spike's body and opened the bottle, pouring the green juice all over Spike before she threw the empty body at Spike's body and said, "Fucking drink it, you skinny bitch. Hey, while you're at it, mug him."

May shrugged, getting down to Spike's body and felt around his pockets, his wallet having to be in the most awkward pocket, his back pocket, while May was at it, she couldn't help but like the feel of Spike's ass. She grinned, "Hey, Miku, want to feel, it's really firm." She laughed.

"I am not groping some dead guy." She yelled.

May sighed, then bent over Spike's chest, a few moments later she felt a heart beat.

"Nah, he's alive." She got up, "So, what do you want to do? We can't just leave him here." May asked, Miku sighed, "How much did he have?"

May looked at the cash, "Only ten thousand woolongs." She said, Miku chuckled, "Well, he was right when he said he was broke but he can get five bottles off that." Miku said, grabbing five bottles of assorted juice and placing them near Spike's body. "He'll have something when he wakes up." Miku gave half the cash to May, "Here, for your trouble."  
May shrugged, "It's something, it's buy me some snakes for when I have the munchies." May said, putting it in her pocket and walking away from the alleyway with Miku.

"So, all of this because that fucker didn't buy some vegetable juice." May asked, slightly puzzled.

"Yeah, but again, he seemed fun to beat up on the street, and plus…" Miku blushed, and snickered, placing her hand over her mouth.

"What?"

Miku snickers turned to a full-blown cackled towards the night sky.

"Damn, you're weird."

The end

"Seriously Spike, what kind of shit happened?" Jet asked as he wrapped up Spike back at the Bebop.

"Just got into a bar fight." He said, looking over at the bottles of vegetable juice, never in his life would he thought he would fear a bottle of fucking juice.

* * *

Drink your damn vegtables, or Miku is gonna get ya


End file.
